Home | What is NVC | NVC Strategies | NVC Activities | Nonviolent Movements | Lesson Plans

Date:

Instructor:

Subject

4 Basic Components of NVC

Content objectives

1) To understand the 4 basic components of NVC:

Observations, Feeling, Needs, and Requests

2) Be able to apply it into daily life.

Teaching Instruction

Language Usage

Use language that is simplified for elementary students.

Warm-up

Draw (or write) a situation when you

were sad or angry.

Presentation: explain definitions by combining with studentsÕ experiences and examples from their drawing.

 

1. Observation

Explanation: To observe is to see or hear what is going on. You see a car; I hear a train. In NVC we listen and see what is going on. I see that you want ice cream, She hears him stomping on the floor.

Question: What do you observe from your situation? (To ask students to describe or explain what they drew.)

 

2. Feelings

Explanation: Feelings are your emotional reactions. Some examples of feelings are being happy, sad, or angry. I feel angry, he is happy. In NVC, we tell how we feel when we see what is going on. I feel upset when I see you being sad. You feel happy when you see your friends.

Question: What do you feel when you see your picture? (To ask students to share their feelings toward their own and others.)

 

3. Needs

Explanation: Needs are things that you want. I need to feed my pet. You need to do your chores. In NVC, our needs are made from what we feel. I need her to stop because it makes me feel sad. He needs to give back her toy so that she isnÕt sad anymore.

Questions: What do you need in the drawing you made? Why do you want it? (To encourage students to share their needs.)

 

4. Requests

Explanation: A request is what you can ask for to get what you need. Can you please stop hitting me? Can she share the slide with me?

Questions: Did you tell your parents/friends what you wanted in thedrawing? What could you of had said if you didnÕt ask for what you needed?

á      (To encourage students to recall their experiences of requesting.)

Activities

1. (Tell your students) You and one of your friends are on the swings during recess. Someone came up to your friend and made fun of their shirt. Your friend, being upset, says that they don't want to play anymore. (Observation)

á      What do you feel when your friend looks upset? (Feeling)

á      What would make you and your friend feel better? (Need)

á      What could you ask your friend or the bully to make you feel better? (Request)

2. Set students up into pairs. Then, have one student read one of the following lines and the other student try to see what is going on, feel what they see, find out what they want, and ask for what they could request.

á      ÒMy dog ran away from me over the weekend. I miss him so much.Ó

á      ÒSometimes I wish I could live on my own without any rules.Ó

á      ÒWhy did I get an F on my quiz? I should have had gotten a better grade!Ó

á      ÒWhen I get angry I hit something that is near me. That isnÕt okay is it?Ó

á      ÒBe Quiet!Ó

á      ÒWhy should I believe you? You always lie to me.Ó

á      ÒI am so angry, why would you do that?!Ó

á      ÒYou never hear anything I say to youÓ

á      ÒYou always ignore meÓ

3.                                 

á      What do you see here? (Student being bullied. The bullying looking happy. The other student being upset

á      How does this picture make you feel? Upset? Angry? Why?

á      What would you want to change and why? (Make sure the students connect their needs with what theyÕre feeling. For example: I want/need him to stop bullying so that he stops feeling sad)

á      What could you ask him to stop bullying the other student?

 

4. Play nonviolent videos. Discuss the video with students.

á      MLK: https://youtu.be/BV3NyDsBKa8

á      Gandhi: https://youtu.be/TkHTbkPoEQ8

(See our website for more information)

Evaluation

Instructor (self-evaluation)

Student (Homework)
  1. Did you explain the definitions clearly and fully?
  2. Did you involve all your students in the discussion?
  3. Did you miss any necessary components?
  4. What else do you think you have to add into this lesson?
  5. Did you receive any feedback from students?

 

1. Try to apply the four steps of NVC when you talk to your parents and friends.

2. Bring back your examples and experiences to class.

Materials: http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/pdf_files/4part_nvc_process.pdf

 

Date:

Instructor:

Subject

NVC strategies: Compassionate Communication; Receiving Empathetically, and Active Listening

Content objectives

To understand the basic knowledge of Empathetic Listening, Compassionate Communication and Active Listening; then, being able to practice it and apply it.

Teaching Instruction

Language Usage

Use language that is simplified for elementary students.

Warm-up

N/A

 

Presentation: explain definitions by providing examples

1.     Compassionate Communication: Communication ways (both speaking and listening) that leads us to give from our heart, connecting us with each other and ourselves in a way that our natural compassion flourishes.

 

2.     Receiving Empathetically/Empathic Listening: Empathy means to empty our mind and listen with our whole being. Receiving empathetically asks us to show our presence when listening. Also, if necessary, we can show our presence by paraphrasing, basically repeating or rephrasing what others say until the other person has no more to say about what their needs are.

Examples:

Max - ÒI want to go the park today to see all of my friends!Ó

Mom - ÒAre you upset because we canÕt go to the park right now?Ó

Max - ÒYeah! ItÕs not fair that they go to the park while we have to stay at home.Ó

Mom - ÒAre you jealous that your friends can go play while we stay home?Ó

Max - ÒYes, why do we have to stay home and clean up the house?

Mom - ÒAre you mad because we have to clean the house first before we leave the house?Ó

Max - ÒYes I am.Ó

á       From here we can then create a request that fulfills Maxes desired needs.

 

3.     Active Listening: The same as listening empathetically, to show your presence and to have reactions regard to othersÕ words.

 

4.     Optional * (This might be too much for elementary students to understand, but teachers can still use it if it is needed.): Obstacles of Compassionate Communication and Receiving Empathetically:

Ways of blocking compassion: Moralistic Judgement; Making comparisons; Denial of Responsibility; Make requests as demands

Behaviors of preventing us from listening empathetically: Intellectual understanding blocks empathy. Advising; One-upping; Educating; Consoling; Storytelling; Shutting down; Sympathizing; Interrogating; Explaining; and Correcting.

 

Activities

Active listening with a partner:

  1. Pair off the participants so that they are with people they do not know.
  2. Have one student take five minutes to tell a story (perhaps about their childhood or something that has happened in their life) and then give another five minutes for the other students to tell a story. They must not take notes, but they can ask questions.
  3. Ask some of the students to tell the stories told by their partners back to the whole class. Ask the partners if the stories are accurate. Do the same with their partners; then ask if their stories are accurate.

Telephone:

This game is best played with a group of people. In this game, one person thinks of a phrase or story, and whispers it to the first person in the line. That person listens, then repeats to the next person in line, and so on until everyone has heard the story. Finally the person at the end of the line repeats the story to the group. Usually, the story has changed dramatically by the time it reaches the other end.

 

One-way/two-way communication activity

  1. Ask for four volunteers.
  2. Send two out of the room and show the picture of geometric shapes (for example, a rectangle with a circle inside) to the other two. Remind them not to show their picture to anybody. Ask for one of them to wait for the second part of the exercise. Invite one of the other volunteers back inside.
  3. Explain that they are going to draw what the other person tells them. They cannot ask any questions (this is Ôone-way communicationÕ). The ÔinstructorÕ (the participant with the drawing) stands behind the flipchart (or with his/her back to the board). The ÔinstructorÕ describes the picture to the participant at the flip chart (the ÔartistÕ). The ÔartistÕ draws the picture based on the instructions given. If you are using a flip chart, turn to a new page. If you are using a board, ensure that you can reproduce the drawing and then clean the board.
  4. Ask the second ÔinstructorÕ to come forward and bring in the second volunteer from outside. This time the instructor can watch what the artist is doing and make comments on it, and the artist should ask questions (two way communication).
  5. When the drawing is completed, compare the two drawings (redraw the first drawing if necessary). Ask the volunteers how they felt when they were either instructing or drawing. Show the participants the original drawing. Ask the group which drawing is the most accurate. Discuss why this is so. Then discuss the following questions:
    1. What is positive about having only the instructor telling you what to draw?
    2. What is negative about having only the instructor telling you what to draw?
    3. What is positive about letting the artist ask questions about the drawing?
    4. What is negative about letting the artist ask questions about the drawing?
    5. What do you need to do when you are communicating to someone else (just like the instructor in the activity)?
    6. Why do people talk to one another as if we were the instructor telling the artist what to do without letting them ask questions?

Evaluation

Instructor (Self-Evaluation)

Student (Homework)
  1. Did you explain the definitions clearly and fully?
  2. Did you involve all your students in the activities?
  3. Did you miss any necessary components?
  4. What else do you think you have to add into this lesson?
  5. Did you receive any feedback from students?

 
  1. Try to listen empathetically when you talk to your parents/friends/teachers, and to see if anything has changed.
  2. Bring back your examples and experiences to class.

Materials: Website

 

 

Date:

Instructor:

Subject

NVC strategies: Requests > Demands

Content objectives

Learn what a request and a demand are, the difference between a request and a demand, when a request can turn into a demand, and why requests over demands.

Teaching Instruction

Language Usage

Use language that is simplified for elementary students.

Warm-up

N/A

Presentation: explain definitions by providing examples

  1. Requests: What we want from another person that would make our lives better and being able to openly express ourselves. We make requests by expressing our unmet needs. (For more information on needs look at the 4 Components of NVC Lesson Plan)

Examples: IÕd like you to go to sleep early because I want you to wake up with energy.

  1. Demands: A demand is when we want others to do something, but makes the person that is being asked to do what is requested in trouble or blamed if they fail to do it.

            Examples: You have to go to sleep at 8 p.m.

  1. Requests > Demands: When people hear demands they will most likely see two options: refusal or do something without a choice. Demands block compassionate communication in which we canÕt communicate and talk with others in a respectful way. Instead, request is a polite and nice way to express our needs. ItÕs good for us to ask something while we have compassion toward others.
  2. Requests as Demands: A request can turn into a demand if the response can only be answered in one way without punishing or blaming the listener. Some examples include:

á      Guilt tripping the listener.

á      Blaming the listener.

á      Threatening the listener if they do not do what is asked.

Activities
  • Download the Òrequests and demands activityÓ and use the examples provided to let students ask and learn what the differences are between a request and a demand.
  • Have studentÕs complete the Òrequests expressed as demands worksheetÓ. Then talk with your students about their answers and compare them with the answer key.

Evaluation

Instructor (self-evaluation)

Student (Homework)
  1. Did you explain the definitions clearly and fully?
  2. Did you involve all your students in the discussion?
  3. Did you miss any necessary components?
  4. What else do you think you have to add into this lesson?
  5. Did you receive any feedback from students?

 

  1. Try to use requests when you talk to your parents and friends, and to see their reactions. Also listen for demands and think how it could be changed into a request.

2.     Bring back your examples and experiences to class.  

 

Materials: file:///Users/taojin/Downloads/ExpressingRequestsasDemansWorksheet-2.html

 

 

Date:

 

Instructor:

 

Subject

NVC strategies: Dealing with anger and bullying

Content objectives

Being able to understand the importance of expressing anger fully, and to understand and apply the four ways when receiving negative messages.

Teaching Instruction

Language Usage

Use language that is simplified for elementary students.

 

Warm-up

Ask:

1. What do you do when you get angry?

2. What makes you angry?

 

Presentation: explain definitions by providing examples

Explain the four options for receiving negative messages:

  1. Blame ourselves. (When we think it is our fault and take it personally)
  2. Blame others. (When we think it is others fault)
  3. Sense our own feelings and needs. (When we are able to notice our feelings and needs)
  4. Sense others' feelings and needs. (When we are able to notice others feelings and needs)

2. Explain how to fully express anger

á      First step- Stop and breathe.

á      Second step- Identify our judgmental thoughts (see what we are thinking when we are angry)

á      Third step- Connect with our needs (know that what is making you angry is an expression of an unmet need)

á      Fourth step- Say what your feeling and your unmet needs. (open your mouth and speak the anger)

 

Activities
  1. Show students the animated videos on the website.
  2. Have the students see the bullying video scene 1 & scene 2
  • Scene 1 has a student bullying another student because of an unmet need.
  • Scene 2 has the previous student bully fully expressing their unmet need and anger.

3.     Have the students see the teacher-student conflict video scene 1 & 2

  • Scene 1 has a student who gets in trouble for talking in class and he angrily responds to his teacher.
  • Scene 2 has the student who then learns how to properly express the anger.

4.     Have the students apply this on a personal situation where they have encountered a bully or had a conflict with a teacher.

Evaluation

Instructor (Self-Evaluation)

Student (Homework)
  1. Did you explain the definitions clearly and fully?
  2. Did you involve all your students in the activities?
  3. Did you miss any necessary components?
  4. What else do you think you have to add into this lesson?
  5. Did you receive any feedback from students?
  1. From what you learned today and from watching the videos; try to express your anger using the 4 steps with friends and family.
  2. Bring back your examples and experiences.

Materials:

Animated Videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEo0YcEVq6E&rel=0

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6RCNQzjg1sDcU1HZjR6LWZ4R2c/view?usp=sharing